giving thanks.
CAST
Eileen Walker – woman, 60s, a recently widowed mother of three
Jude Walker – man, 30, son, going through a divorce
Prudence Walker – woman, 32, daughter, a religious stay-at-home mother
Lucy Walker – woman, 34, daughter, a prominent openly gay journalist
SETTING
In the dining room. The table is covered with a magnificent Thanksgiving feast and everyone is seated with a plate and wine glass. There are three bottles of wine.
NOTES
Actors are permitted to substitute the large amounts of wine consumed
throughout the play with grape juice. Otherwise, for the sake of authenticity,
they can choose to drink actual wine.
Everyone has their heads bowed in prayer,
except for JUDE who is staring at the wine.
JUDE (ADDRESSING AUDIENCE)
Sometimes the best thing you can do for your sweet devout
mother is let her think you still love Jesus.
JUDE pauses and smiles warmly at his
mother, who continues praying.
EILEEN
God, please bless grandpa who couldn’t make it to
Thanksgiving this year on account of his bad back. I pray
that you heal his back as good as new, so he can run and
jump like he did when he was a schoolboy.
JUDE (ADDRESSING AUDIENCE)
It would break her poor heart if she found out I just liked
going to that Christian camp in junior high because Whitney
Phillips was a great kisser.
EILEEN
Please thank all the hard workers at the grocery store for
selling these fine turkeys for such low prices, and thank the
turkeys who gave their lives for this bountiful feast which will
nourish our bodies tonight.
LUCY opens her eyes and notices
JUDE doesn’t have his eyes shut or his
head bowed in prayer, she frantically
mouths at him to pray and he shrugs
and pretends he doesn’t understand her. Eventually, she gives up and angrily
resumes praying.
JUDE (ADDRESSING AUDIENCE)
Really, all I need is some peace and quiet. My back is
killing me from sleeping on the futon at my friend Jason’s.
I just want to get nice and drunk without listening to Mom
play 20 Questions with her clinically depressed kids.
EILEEN
And thank you God for bringing my family together this
evening for a wonderful Thanksgiving. I pray you watch over
us as we enjoy this meal together. Amen!
EVERYONE, JUDE A BEAT LATE
Amen.
EILEEN reaches for the mashed potatoes
and begins serving herself. JUDE and LUCY
reach for the wine at the same time.
LUCY
Sorry. You go first.
EILEEN
Rough day at work, honey?
LUCY
Yeah. I just flew in this morning.
JUDE
Who works on Thanksgiving?
LUCY
Me, apparently.
EILEEN
Oh, honey. That’s awful! Maybe you should have asked for
the day off.
LUCY
What am I supposed to do, tell everyone to not do anything
illegal for a day?
JUDE
It’s not like anyone told you to write an article on the seedy
underbelly of Dallas.
JUDE (AT AUDIENCE)
Sometimes I think Lucy writes about those sad lonely Texans
in crack dens because she’s too uptight to try any drugs herself.
I’ll never forgive her for snitching when she caught me smoking.
I mean, I was twelve years old! Some families let their kids drink
by then!
EILEEN
Dallas, Texas! Oh, how fun! Have you seen any cowboys?
LUCY
No.
EILEEN
I’ve always wanted to see a cowboy. I love their little hats.
A long and awkward silence follows. JUDE
fills his glass to the brim with wine and begins
drinking. PRUDENCE watches him in shock and
then looks at the clock.
PRUDENCE
Oh dear.
LUCY
Hey, uh, Jude. Do you think you can save some for the
rest of us?
LUCY pours herself a glass of wine.
JUDE
I’m thirsty.
EILEEN
Jude showed up early to help me make dinner, so he’s extra thirsty. You shouldn’t drink so much though, here, I’ll get you some water instead.
JUDE
I want wine.
LUCY
Yeah, me too.
PRUDENCE
So, um, Jude? Where’s Fran?
JUDE
She’s not coming.
PRUDENCE
What? Not coming?
EILEEN
It’s such a shame, I wish you two were still together.
LUCY
Wait, what? Are you getting a divorce?
PRUDENCE
Oh dear, that’s too bad. I really liked Fran. She was so sweet.
JUDE (AT AUDIENCE)
Fran is the sort of woman everyone thinks is sweet, and I
guess that was the problem. There’s only so many days you
can come home from an eight-hour shift at a dead-end job, see
your wife lovingly stare at you over the hot meal she made, and
not feel like you’re stuck in some black and white sitcom where
everything is too good to be true. Sometimes it’s a relief to
throw a good thing away.
JUDE
Yeah, yeah, she was a real winner. Where the hell is Jack?
PRUDENCE
He’s with his family this year, which is where I should be
heading soon—
EILEEN
No, no, Prudence. We haven’t had a nice hot dinner
together in years.
JUDE
We could have all gotten together sooner if Lucy wasn’t
so damn busy all the time.
LUCY
I haven’t been that busy. I’m not a workaholic.
JUDE
We haven’t seen you since dad’s funeral.
LUCY
I’m sorry I had better things to do than go to a Fourth of
July barbeque and watch my siblings drink flat beer and
make out with their spouses all day.
EILEEN
Lucy, I thought you said you wanted to settle down with
a nice man.
LUCY
Mom, I’m gay. Remember?
PRUDENCE clears her throat and plays
with her food uncomfortably.
EILEEN
Oh, well a nice woman then.
LUCY
Why should I settle down? And what the hell was that Prudence?
PRUDENCE
I didn’t say anything. I just want to finish my dinner and—
PRUDENCE turns to stare at the clock.
JUDE
Weren’t you in the hospital for panic attacks twice this
year? Maybe you should settle down. Someone else can
write about the crack dens in Denton.
LUCY
That was unrelated. And the addicts live in Dallas, not Denton.
Denton is where all the alcoholics live.
JUDE
Maybe you should move there. To Denton, I mean. Not Dallas.
EILEEN
Prudence! Can you stop checking the time every five minutes!
You’re about to give me a panic attack!
JUDE
Lucy shouldn’t have to settle down if she doesn’t want to. You
don’t have to have a happy marriage to be worthy of this family.
JUDE (ADDRESSING AUDIENCE)
Mom loves happy single people about as much as Prudence
loves having a successful gay sister. I think when Lucy came out
Mom got all excited that this meant she was finally going to get a
wife, a house, a dog, and two-point-five kids. But, all it meant was
Lucy might bring an occasional short-term girlfriend home
for Christmas.
EILEEN
Let’s talk about something else. Can’t we just have some nice
time together tonight? If Lucy isn’t ready to be happy then that’s
her choice.
LUCY
I am happy!
JUDE
I’m happy too!
EILEEN
Okay, alright. I’m glad I have two happy children who are drinking
themselves to death tonight.
PRUDENCE
I never drink.
JUDE
Oh, come on! Really? Even Jesus turned water into wine!
JUDE (ADDRESSING AUDIENCE)
She always puts on this sweet pious act around Mom.
PRUDENCE
I have acid reflux.
JUDE (ADDRESSING AUDIENCE)
Oh.
PRUDENCE
Anyway, I should probably go—
EILEEN
Stay and visit a little longer. Jack can wait!
PRUDENCE
Okay, alright, fine.
A long and uncomfortable silence follows.
JUDE finishes his glass of wine, opens the
second bottle, and pours another.
LUCY
Hey, Mom. I really like these mashed potatoes.
EILEEN
Oh, stop it.
LUCY
What?
EILEEN
You don’t have to be so rude tonight.
LUCY
I just said I like the mashed potatoes!
EILEEN
Yeah, well sometimes it’s not what you say, it’s how
you say it.
LUCY
Oh my god, Mom. Are you serious? I just said I like
the mashed potatoes.
PRUDENCE
Can we not fight with Mom tonight?
LUCY
Sorry, I forgot, your mother and your husband are
the center of the universe.
PRUDENCE
Well, sorry I can’t be a big successful gay woman who
doesn’t need a man or her own mother!
LUCY
Excuse me? Do you have any idea what I went through
after I came out? Do you know about the awful things grandpa
told me at dad’s funeral?
EILEEN
Girls! Settle down! It’s okay! Lucy can be gay if she wants to—
LUCY
It’s not a choice.
EILEEN
I mean, Lucy is gay and we love her! Prudence isn’t and we
love her too!
PRUDENCE
Then can I go see Jack? Please?
EILEEN
No! We’re having a nice family dinner!
LUCY
Yes, tonight has been so wonderful! Jude! Pass the wine!
PRUDENCE
More wine!? Really!? You’re an alcoholic!
LUCY
No! I just know how to make a boring night fun!
EILEEN
None of us need alcohol to have fun! Prudence isn’t drinking,
and she’s been having a wonderful time, haven’t you?
LUCY
I knew Prudence was your favorite! I knew it!
PRUDENCE
Mom doesn’t have favorites! She loves us all equally!
LUCY
No, she loves the straight daughter who gave her
grandchildren, not the one who’s working her fingers to the
bone to build a career in journalism from the ground up!
LUCY reaches for a new bottle of wine and
struggles open it. She slaps JUDE’s hand away
when he tries to help, opens the bottle, and
pours herself another glass.
LUCY
Did you even read my article on poverty in Chicago? Or
the piece I wrote on the wage gap?
EILEEN
Oh Lucy, of course I read your writing! You write such pretty
stories! I just wish you would have some children to share
those stories with, that’s all! Wouldn’t that be nice?
LUCY
Pretty stories? God, Mom! You’re so embarrassing! It’s like
you don’t even try to understand my art and the work that
goes into it!
PRUDENCE
You know, having children really is such a joy. Mom doesn’t
understand your art, but maybe your kids will.
LUCY
I don’t want kids!
EILEEN
You know gay people can have children just like straight
people. I saw this wonderful article on Facebook about this
lesbian couple who had a beautiful baby. You shouldn’t let the
homophobes scare you away from what you want.
LUCY
I’m not scared of having kids because of homophobes! I just
don’t want any!
PRUDENCE
You know, it’s weird to call someone a homophobe! What’s
wrong with disagreeing with a lifestyle? It doesn’t mean
someone is scared of the gays.
EILEEN
Prudence!
LUCY
Oh my god, you sound just like grandpa!
PRUDENCE
I didn’t mean it like that! I just mean not everyone feels
the same way about the same things!
EILEEN
Your sister’s sexuality is not up for debate! I raised you
better than that!
PRUDENCE
I’m just saying what my pastor said when I asked him for
guidance, I didn’t say I agree with it!
LUCY
”Asked him for guidance?” Guidance on what? How to deal
with your sinner sister?
EILEEN
Oh, sweetheart, you’re not a sinner!
The arguing spirals into everyone screaming over
each other, except for JUDE who drinks calmly
from his glass of wine. He watches the fighting for
a little while, amused.
JUDE
Fran is leaving me because I cheated on her.
The room goes silent.
JUDE
I cheated on her with a friend from work. I hated how
she always wanted to be my best friend. So, I did what
I dreamed of for years and cheated on her.
EILEEN
Oh, you’re a good boy, it must have been an accident.
JUDE
No. It wasn’t. I did it on purpose. I cheated on my wife.
PRUDENCE
Mom, can I leave now?
EILEEN
Yes, sweetheart.
PRUDENCE exits. JUDE drinks the rest of his wine and
refills his glass with a smile. His family sits and eats in
uncomfortable silence.
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